Kling! Klang! Kling! Klang!
She hurriedly ran as she heard their doorbell rang. It took her just seconds to appear as I pressed the red button outside their gate.
It's early Sunday morning, and I was fetching Lela from their house. Their doorbell sounded like the bell of the church we were heading to.
“Ma! I’m going!” She shouted permission to her mother. “Let’s go!” She said to me in conviction.
Lela has been my bestfriend for as long as my memory takes me. And we have been going to Sunday masses together for the past 4 years. As ever, she always looks astonishing in her Sunday attires.
“Here! I brought an umbrella in case it will rain. The weather has not been good as of late.” I shyly mumbled. She appears not to notice, and continued to walk in a pace I have become familiar to.
“Choy! Good thing you brought an umbrella. I think it will rain.” She spoke as if she hadn’t heard of what I just mumbled a while ago. Maybe she didn’t.
She always speaks to me as if I was at her horizon, and this was no longer new to me. She just couldn’t face me while she talks to me. What’s new has been the weather. Rainclouds have been raging above for 3 days now. Summer has long been over, but rain has been rare. Well, except for today.
She grabbed my arm, and raised it up.
“Open the umbrella! Geeesh!” She angrily commanded as drizzle started to parade the skies.
I didn’t notice the drizzle falling. I was totally enmeshed in my thoughts of summer and rain.
I quickly opened the umbrella, and right there and then she crossed her arm on my arm that held the umbrella up.
I could hear my heartbeat. It always goes wild when she’s this close. My heartbeats conceal the increasing roar of the rain. Slowly, I was deafened by my own beating and felt anxious.
Although Lela and I were bestfriends for so long, I never got the courage to tell her I like her. Not that I never entertained to grab hold opportunities when they come, I just can’t. I end up making the most unmanly reason, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” I always play the same statement within me over and over again. It’s automatic.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship!” I whispered to myself as I notice the opportune moment to crack the shell of my secret to her. It’s automatic, I realized.
The chilling breeze blew through her hair towards my direction as I argued within myself. I sighed as I smelled her lavender-scented shampoo that she has been suing the past few months.
She was always an avid fan of naturally smelling aromas, and her favorite as far as I could remember was always the citrusy ones.
“Hurry up! Or we won’t be able to find a seat!” She broke the awkward silence in between us as we were nearing the church. It was only then that I noticed that she dangled her hair. It was unusual, since she always ties it up during masses.
“That’s new.” I said pointing to her dangled hair.
“You just noticed?” She asked with a seemingly disgusted sigh as she pulled me inside the church. Her sigh was enigmatic. It invaded my thoughts like the Spanish armada invaded the Philippines.
“What was it for? What does it mean?” I asked to myself in confusion, all the while entertaining the thought of an opportunity that I should grab.
I sat beside her, and she was her usual silent self. I was stringing words, phrases, sentences to tell her what I truly feel. I have the grandest idea of just directly saying to her that I like her. And that is all there is to it, an idea. As I was slowly molding what I should say, my lame, unmanly excuse kicked in.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship!” Murmured my thoughts automatically.
I looked outside in disgust to myself. I battled with my own self. “Say it now or never?”
I introduced my options. I’ve been dying to say to her what I truly feel, and I believed this was the time.
I took one single deep breath, and decided to tell her. With every ounce of courage in me I counted up to 3…
“1…2…Kling! Klang! Kling! Klang!”
She stood up as the bell signaled the start of the mass. I stayed sitting down waiting for my mind to count 3. It was unfortunate, but I was positive I’d push through. As I was about to stand up I noticed her wearing the charm bracelet I gave her. She doesn’t wear any accessories aside from the earrings her mother gave her for Christmas last year.
My hear pounded my chest, and mouth clenched in a search for an answer.
“Why is she wearing it?” I asked silently as I stood up.
This was the only thought occupying my mind. I forgot the stringed words that I was going to say her, and was impatiently recalling what it was. It took me a while to remember what I was gonna say to her. I gathered my courage again, and started counting to 3.
“1…2…”
Kling! Klang! Kling! Klang! Kling! Klang! Kling! Klang! The bell screamed persistently. It was unusual.
I opened my eyes, jolted by the endless clanging of the church bell.
Dumbfounded, I noticed the church’s aisle donned with lavender-scented flowers, and just about to enter was a glaring sight of a beautifully-dressed woman. I scratched my irritated eyes, and saw Lela started walking down the aisle.
Beautiful as she has ever been, and her smile as genuine as any I have seen her don, she walked in a calculated pace. With a rainbow bouquet held in her hand and a veil to conceal her angelic face, she draws closer and closer.
I felt my heart pound my chest and my knees trembled. I closed my eyes and took one deep breath as I usually do when feeling this way.
As I opened my eyes, I saw her pass by me. She always seems not to notice me, and this was no exception. I followed her as she continued treading the carpeted aisle.
As quickly as my heart pounded was also as quickly as my heart stopped beating. Just ahead of her was a sharply dressed man smiling in anticipation. I could no longer hear anything except my own breathing.
The sharply dressed man reached for Lela’s hand. And Lela reached back.
I slept and dreamt of the moment when I almost, just almost told her my secret.
I took a deep breath once again, and smelled a citrusy whiff.
“Her hair, I suppose.” I closed my eyes, and the scent disappeared.
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